I'll be my own savior.

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.

Gwyneth Paltrow tried her best on Glee, and she sings much better than I can, so she deserves plenty of credit. But Adele just has this richness of voice that makes her so much more appealing to listen to. I tend to avoid female singers that have quite a bit of range and who tend to use the depths and heights of their range frequently. Mostly because I like to sing along in the car* and it's hard for me to sing along to women with big voices. But I will admit that the current CD that's been jammed and is now stuck into my broken stereo has both her first and second albums on it. It gets me through the drives to and from work.

Speaking of work, I've got the date set for the Theatre Talent Show and it's going to be amazeballs. But holyjeebus, it is stressful. I've got so much to do organization-wise, and creation-wise, and homework-grading-wise that I'm not really sure what to do next.

That's actually a lie. I think I've been somewhat diligent at working my way through the mess that living the life of a schoolteacher has given me. Except for once a week or so (today, in this case), in which I take a break and goof off. It's good for my mental health. And I've had a lot of things to think about, so I think it's good for me to take plenty of care of my mental health. Also my physical health, because that's kind of important and ohmygosh this town is killing me with all the pollen and allergens and tiny flying saucers of disease floating about. It could be worse. I could be stuck worrying about wildfires and being evacuated. I am happy that I don't have to worry about my apartment burning down. What would I do with my TV? Or my bed? I like my bed. It's comfy. I like crawling into it at night and hanging my feet off the edge, which is a habit that I picked up when I was sleeping on a twin-sized bed in good old Munjeong Shiyoung, but which is certainly unnecessary now, seeing as I have a lovely queen-sized bed which is actually probably too big for me because it actually takes up almost the entirety of my bedroom and sometimes I think it would be nice to have... you know.. furniture in my bedroom but then I remember that I scarcely have furniture in my LIVING room and then everything's okay.

I've been back in Texas for over a year now, and everything seems so settled that it's kind of stifling. But then again, some things don't seem settled at all. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm about to make other things all topsy-turvy. I wonder if there's a certain percentage of chaos that's required to be present in everyone's life? I think I'm at around 15%...which is pretty darn good, if you ask me. I'm sure some people operate better under a higher percentage, and I'm sure we all want a lower percentage. Maybe 25% is the norm, or the number we should all shoot for. In which case, I've got to do something just plain wacky to get my numbers up.

I'll start making lists right now.



*Except now sometimes all I do is listen to NPR for DAYS and it's starting to get weird because I like it, and I think it helps me drive better because I'm less preoccupied by wishing I had a better singing voice.